July 7, 2006, 12:30pm HT

In what is perhaps the most random conversation ever, James, Erika and Diane are talking about ... sheets. James says when he dates a girl they usually go out and buy him sheets. My question would have to be, what on earth is he doing to his sheets that warrants continual replacement? Sweet, sentimental Diane says she would never buy anybody sheets. "Buy your own damn sheets," she says. Diane goes on and on and on about Nick Lachey. As a certain sign of the apocalypse, I have just realized Alison has been in the room the entire time and hasn't said a word. It's probably time to go buy duct tape and water bottles.